This is an interesting question for someone like me, who has shied away from taking risks or unnecessary chances in life. What does courage look like for a person who has taken the safe path in life, and does not like to rock the boat? Just what is it, and how do I know when I am being courageous?
For me, courage is the ability to face my fear and find the strength to deal with a difficult, uncomfortable, or frightening situation in the right way. Not just deal with it, but deal with it properly.
When I look back on my life, I can recall many situations that have required courage. These situations are much like uninvited, unpleasant, or even frightening visitors who show up when you don’t want them to and you would rather they left you alone. Such visitors, however, are usually persistent and will rarely leave unless and until you deal with them in some way. Sometimes they become nastier and more unpleasant if you avoid them. Some are relatively easy to deal with and require a minimal amount of courage to address, and others are the heart-pounding, nail-biting, sweaty-palms kind. In my life, thankfully, most situations that have required courage fell somewhere between the two extremes, although I have experienced a handful of the latter type.
During the course of my professional career, I have dealt with many situations that required a degree of courage simply because the matters in question were difficult and stressful. The more meaningful situations, and those that have led to the most personal growth, however, are those that have arisen in my personal life.
I was taught very early in life to do the right thing, even when it is difficult – even when it is the heart-pounding, nail-biting, sweaty-palms kind of difficult. For me, then, courage has been required in those moments I needed to make a certain decision (often without a clear “best choice”) or take a certain action that was uncomfortable, difficult, or scary, simply because I knew it was the right thing to do. In those times I had to dig down deep and find the courage to do what I knew to be right. I didn’t want to suffer the regret and disappointment that would inevitably result if I took the easy way out, avoiding the situation altogether or making an easier, but less optimal, choice. Even worse would be the shame and embarrassment I would feel from failing to do what was right. One guidepost throughout my life has been whether or not I can look in the mirror and honestly say, “I acted with integrity and tried my best to do the right thing.”
Like most people, regrets are something I have always tried to avoid, although not always successfully. Where they do exist, I am, for the most part, comfortable knowing that I made the best decision I could, based on what I knew or believed at that moment in my life – even though, sometimes, later events proved me wrong. However, some regrets have arisen over times I lacked the courage to do the right thing in a given situation, or didn’t even bother trying. Those are the ones that bother me.
Regrets are a part of everyone’s life. The gift that any regret gives us is the hope and determination to learn from it and find the courage and strength to do better the next time a similar situation arises. With self-discipline and trust in God’s wisdom, guidance, and grace, my hope and prayer is that having courage will become easier over time and doing the right thing will become a habit.
Article by Colleen McIntyre